


love.

by akaashook



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Atsumu (love), Author (tears), Demisexual Miya Atsumu, Implied Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, M/M, Miya Atsumu being taken care of, Team as Family, Volleyball, author definitely didn't get emotional while writing, author points a volleyball at your head as they say "love miya atsumu or else...", miya atsumu x volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akaashook/pseuds/akaashook
Summary: Miya Atsumu loves the court, but the court can’t love him back.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Comments: 17
Kudos: 112





	love.

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAAAAAAA I have been told to post this short story about Atsumu and the way he feels love (both towards the court and his teammates) on here so here I am.  
> I'd like to clarify that I 100% didn't cry while writing this.
> 
> Enjoy!!

At first sight it might look like a story about volleyball.

Miya Atsumu started playing volleyball at a young age, his brother by his side, a light in his eyes and his heart on his sleeve.  In the beginning it was just a challenge, a way to fight Osamu on neutral ground, to prove he is the better twin (it is still a challenge).

But then he experienced it, the moment he got hooked on volleyball for real. He had always thought volleyball was a matter of action, running and jumping around in a court too little to leave space for unworthy people. He had been arrogant (he still is kind of arrogant).

Never in his life Atsumu Miya had thought that the thing to draw him towards selflessness could be a simple sentence, a few words pronounced by a stranger “I’ll let you hit it nice and easy”

“I’ll let you hit it”

Atsumu Miya decided he wanted to be a setter. That day he started being hungry. Well, actually, the hunger had always been there inside him, like a fire burning quietly. But, just like fire, it needed a spark to ignite. And now he had found it. His spark.

On that day, Miya Atsumu decided he was going to spend his whole life chasing volleyball.

And today, Miya Atsumu thrives in volleyball, in a court that continuously challenges him, in a court that makes him feel like he belongs.

He keeps practicing, every day he does things right, just like Kita Shinsuke taught him, every day he asks himself what he can do. He keeps working hard, following his curiosity, his passion, his hunger. He has no time to focus on anything else.

Miya Atsumu loves the court. The court lets him exist as he is, it doesn’t judge him, it doesn’t question him, it makes him feel real.

Miya Atsumu loves the court, but the court can’t love him back.

Because in the end, his dear court is just a court, and the sport he so much adores isn’t enough anymore.

He is not sad about this new discovery, he still has so much love to give to volleyball. On the contrary, acknowledging his position allows him to slow down his frantic run towards some finish line that doesn’t even exist. It allows him to take a breath and take a look around himself.

And notice that people care about him.

Atsumu Miya has always expected his spikers to hit his tosses, his teammates to be as hard-working as him, but never once in his lifetime has he ever expected people to care.

His old teammates hated him. He knew it, Osamu had told him. And, to him, it has never really mattered if others hated him, but seeing people around him (people close to him) actually caring for him comes as a shock for someone as accustomed to being despised and ignored as Miya Atsumu.

He doesn’t know how to let people take care of him, after all he is still the same person who cried when Kita Shinsuke left a care package and a message in an empty locker room just for him, he is still the same person who got angry when his brother, his most valuable opponent and greatest ally, told him he would leave volleyball behind.

It felt like betrayal.

It felt like goodbye.

Atsumu would never admit it, but Osamu was his pillar and losing his familiar weight and presence by his side meant losing balance too.

He had to learn what it means to run alone. 

And entering professional volleyball he expected it all to be simply about volleyball, like he wants it, like he loves it.

But MSBY Black Jackals are more than just a team, they are a group of friends he can have fun with and talk to about everything. And maybe it’s not just about volleyball anymore. It starts being about family, about people willing to take care of him in the same way he takes care of them in his own arrogant yet selfless way.

It all begins with Bokuto Koutarou, a man who has long ago learnt what running alone means. It continues with Hinata Shouyou, who comes back to remind him of a promise made so many years ago, but that still stands. And then there’s Sakusa Kiyoomi, a presence so quiet yet so steady that has slowly inhabited the vacant spot at his other side. 

(Not the one his twin used to occupy, that one belongs to Osamu and Osamu only. And even if he is not there anymore it doesn't mean their race is over).

Osamu is still challenging him in his own way. Osamu, the same person that, by leaving, taught him that life is not just about volleyball, that there are other things to try, other things worth chasing, other things to be curious about.

And now Atsumu wants to see, wants to understand what life is outside of that same court he had once been ready to bleed for.

And he has a team of friends ready to show him.

Volleyball is trust and Miya Atsumu holds trust close to his chest, but he starts craving love.

It doesn't have to be physical. Atsumu doesn't really care about the skin. He cares about the way life feels on it. 

He cares about laughter, about smiles, about silences.

He cares about stolen glances, about hands that start reaching out towards each other, about a head resting lazily on a shoulder.

And then come the kisses: on the lips, on the neck, tracing a sharp jawline.

And then come the cuddles: a nose sinking in the curve of someone's neck, fingers slowly travelling across a hip, a low voice whispering a hoarse "good morning" from the other side of the bed.

And if, eventually, it starts being about skin, it's okay. He wants it. Just that one skin that feels like belonging. That feels like peace of mind.

And Atsumu still loves the court, but a court isn't big enough to contain the love he has to give.

And that's fine.

Because that allowed Atsumu to learn. To experience. To feel.

And now he knows what it means to give your heart to someone.

Now he knows what it means to hold someone's heart in your hands.

To care and to be cared for.

To be selfish and to be selfless.

To love and to be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> THANKS FOR READING, I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS SILLY LITTLE PRODUCT OF MY L*VE FOR MIYA ATSUMU, feel free to leave a comment if you want.
> 
> Also I'd like to clarify that for this line "The court lets him exist as he is, it doesn’t judge him, it doesn’t question him, it makes him feel real." I got inspiration from the description of the court in the All For The Game series by Nora Sakavic:
> 
> “When I'm playing, I feel like I have control over something. I feel like I have the power to change things. I feel more real out there than I do anywhere else. The court doesn't care what my name is or where I come from or where I'll be tomorrow. It lets me exist as I am."
> 
> I just love that series so much *head in hands*


End file.
